What I Wish I’d Known About Gender When I Became a Parent

Posted on Mar 9, 2016 in One of Kind Like Me, Out Proud Families, Support for educators, Support for families/caregivers, Support for service providers | 1 comment

Published in Huffington Post here. “You had a beautiful baby boy.” Those were the first words I heard after my child was born. I named him Daniel and started dressing him in clothes made for boys. But, raising a child is often full of the unexpected. It soon became obvious that Danny was different than other boys. He loved Barbie dolls, dressing up in skirts and shimmery things, and preferred playing with girls. I didn’t know...

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For LGBTQ+ People: Understanding & Supporting your Family’s Process

Posted on May 18, 2015 in Out Proud Families, Support for educators, Support for LGBTQ+ Youth, Support for service providers | 0 comments

Are you an LGBTQ person whose family isn’t very supportive? Are you afraid to come out to your family because they might not react well? If so, this post may help you understand your parents or other family members. I recently conducted a workshop on this topic with a group of students (and a few former students) at the Queer Asian Conference at UC Berkeley. I was impressed by their insights and by how open they were to seeing things from...

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New & Expecting Parents/Caregivers: 8 Things to Know about Gender and Sexual Orientation

Posted on Mar 16, 2015 in One of Kind Like Me, Out Proud Families, Support for educators, Support for families/caregivers, Support for service providers | 0 comments

One of the first things I remember hearing after my baby was born was, “You had a beautiful baby boy”. I named him Daniel and started dressing him in clothes made for boys. But, raising a child is often full of the unexpected. “Accept the children the way we accept trees—with gratitude, because they are a blessing—but do not have expectations or desires. You don’t expect trees to change, you love them as they are.”―Isabel...

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How Gender Boxes Harm All Children and What We Can Do About It

Posted on Apr 9, 2014 in One of Kind Like Me, Out Proud Families, Support for educators, Support for families/caregivers, Support for LGBTQ+ Youth, Support for service providers | 0 comments

My early parenting experiences were sometimes hard. I had a son who liked to play with dolls and dress up as a princess and I didn’t know if that was okay. I’ve learned a lot since then, and today I’m sharing some of what I’ve learned about the impact of gender boxes on children. As early as two years of age, children learn that there are different rules for boys and girls that they are expected to follow. They learn by...

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Announcing Out Proud Families: Coming Out of the Gender Box

Posted on Mar 12, 2014 in Out Proud Families, Support for educators, Support for families/caregivers, Support for LGBTQ+ Youth, Support for service providers | 1 comment

When my son Danny was in preschool and decided he wanted to be a princess for Halloween, I didn’t know how much I would change. I grew up in the 1960s in a mixed race family that embraced difference. I marched to end war and racism and to support immigrant rights. Yet, being Danny’s mom, I discovered I had deeply held prejudices about gender. In the beginning, I wondered if there was something wrong with him. I tolerated his...

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